Difficult conversations : how to discuss what matters most / Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen.

Originally published: New York, N.Y. : Viking, 1999.

Sort out the three conversations -- Stop arguing about who's right: explore each other's stories -- Don't assume they meant it: disentangle intent from impact -- Abandon blame: map the contribution system -- Have your feelings (or they will have you) -- Ground your identity: ask yourself what's at stake -- What's your purpose? When to raise it and when to let go -- Getting started: begin from the third story -- Learning: listen from the inside out -- Expression: Speak for yourself with clarity and power -- Problem-solving: take the lead -- Putting it all together.

"Whether we're dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with our spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying "no," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. No matter how competent we are, we all have conversations that cause anxiety and frustration." "Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a proven step-by-step approach for how to have your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. It shows you how to prepare yourself; how to start the conversation without defensiveness; and how to keep it constructive and focused regardless of how the other person responds. Book jacket."--BOOK JACKET.